Ok, so you know I get a perverse pleasure from looking at The Punch and laughing at how shit it is. And rolling my eyes at how many Coalition MPs get a run in it. And feeling smug about how there’s no quality control (I’m thinking about everything written by Nigel Bowen). And shaking my head at how it’s all the same old shit that’s been published before and will never generate intelligent discussion in the comments.
Well, guess what? Surprise, surprise, today there’s a very stupid piece by Jason Tin saying old people are gross: There’s nothing more pathetic than an ageing star:
Earlier this week, Liz Hurley tweeted about the nation’s obsession with the movements (or lack thereof) of Shane Warne.
“FYI Slender Shane ate very rare steak and chips for dinner. Hold the Front Page,” she wrote, while totally not attention-seeking at all.
Ah, no Jason. That’s Liz Hurley taking the piss out of the “news” media, particularly the organisation you work for. She’s taking the piss out of photographers who have been camped outside her door to get a photo of Warnie, who think someone leaving a house is Very Important News. Jason, I’m a little embarrassed for you right now.
Looking at his profile page, he writes about things after everyone else has: beards, not owning a car, hipsters. That’s real finger-on-the-pulse stuff there.
There is also so much cross-promotional inbreeding going on that I wouldn’t be surprised to see a game show hosted by a grinning, two-headed, taxidermy fusion of Grant Denyer and Karl Stefanovic.
Neither of those people are old, so Jason, what’s your point? Are you writing about how you don’t want to look at people who are older than you, or about the fact that Australian tv executives are making the cheapest tv possible?
Then, of course, there was the time Channel Nine execs cracked open the Hey Hey It’s Saturday sarcophagus and resurrected its embalmed host, Daryl Somers.
As I recall, Jason, your news organisation ran prominent stories across all its websites about a Facebook page calling for Hey Hey to be brought back.
We deny them the privilege of slipping quietly into irrelevancy behind the curtain, leaving them unable to create the carefully-crafted illusion of graceful ageing.
I call bullshit, Jason. You’re saying that once people have a certain number of wrinkles they have no right to earn a living the way they want to. Are you really that shallow?
If someone chooses to age “gracefully” (ie, out of Jason’s sight) or wearing oversized hot-pink cat eye glasses and orange hotpants while yelling “boobies!” from the back of a taxi, that’s their business. Personally, I hope my days over 60 are an eccentric, multi-coloured, shouty bunch of fun. Besides, we all know that journalists who write ill-thought-out opinion pieces about how they don’t want to look at old people are the ones who fade into irrelevancy.