I’m back. And I’m annoyed. Did you see the new Sunday Life magazine in the Sun Herald yesterday? Although it was usually only worth a browse over breakfast, it’s now a load of twat aimed at women. Here are some of the highlights: cover pic of Carla Bruni-Sarkozy looking like a ditz; Sarah Wilson’s dull column on nothing at all that’s supposed to be about “living a meaningful life”; and I can’t even bring myself to read the article on what makes a perfect wife, titled Maid to order.
But it’s the highly offensive article on Carla Bruni-Sarkozy, Michelle Obama and Sarah Brown that really riled me. “Carla is even a notorious maneater who had the wile to steal Mick Jagger away to Thailand a day after Jerry Hall reportedly gave birth to his baby”. What the fuck? You can’t steal people out of relationships – they choose to go.
And then later: … “recounts in larcenous detail the theft of her philosopher husband Raphael Enthoven by Carla, who even managed to produce a child with him, Aurelien, before moving on to greener pastures”. What the fuck fuck?
But wait, there’s more: “Now that she keeps her clothes on in public, though, Carla appears to be in some kind of stage-managed costume drama”. Um, as far as I know she never paraded around in public in the nude. Posing for a couple of artistic nude photos by a well-known photographer at the height of her modelling career doesn’t make her a nudist.
Michelle Obama gets called “thumpingly healthy” which I suspect is a euphemism for fat. Obama’s quote – “If I can have any impact, I want women to feel good about themselves” – is mocked by the author Susan Chenery. We don’t want women to feel good about themselves because then they wouldn’t buy all anti-ageing rubbish advertised everywhere.
Sarah Brown gets the snob treatment with “the UK’s Sarah Brown, wife of Gordon, obviously never got the memo about the glamour thing”. Oh, for fuck’s sake. Gordon gets called her “crusty husband”.
Therese Rein “has finally got the memo” and then it all wraps up without making much sense. What a nasty piece of writing.