Apparently women hate Keira Knightley

There’s a strange opinion piece on from the Telegraph in London, called Why we hate Keira Knightley. It’s an odd piece, and I’m not sure if it’s because the headline is more forceful than the writing, or because I’m not entirely sure what the writer – Celia Walden – is trying to say.

Somehow from Knightley saying that modern fame isn’t a particularly positive thing, Walden has deduced that she “hints at a desire to be respected for more than being the only woman in the world beautiful enough to look good in a swimming cap”. Riiiiiight.

This, combined with a genteel thespian upbringing, might account for the slight whiff of spoilt-little-girl that emanates from Knightley. But does it explain why mention of her name prompts women of every age to spring forward, enthralled and enraged, to postulate on the size of her pout, bosom and talent? No. That is female jealousy.

Can’t say I’ve experienced this springing forward, but it might have something to do with the fact that she earns millions yet is a pretty ordinary actor.

Female jealousy is a form of lust, the desire to know every inch of a beautiful woman in the same way that a man wants to through sex. But this lust is more powerful than the male kind, and is what has propelled Knightley to her position as a fashion figurehead, role model and Hollywood actress.

Yeah, not buyin’ it. Then later:

Looks like hers survive for many years, but she may only grow as an actress when she stops being so conscious of them. “She makes this stupid face, just like my girlfriend does when she looks in the mirror,” says a male friend.

Therein, perhaps, lies the problem: when Knightley stops seeing the camera as a mirror, we might start seeing her talent.

Is she saying women hate Knightley because they lust after her, or that Knightley is a bad actor because she can’t stop looking at herself in the mirror? I’m confused.

And on top of all that, my zooper dooper just gave me a monster cut on the corner of my mouth. Pineapple, passionfruit and blood is not a good flavour. Why do they make the plastic so sharp?

9 responses to “Apparently women hate Keira Knightley

  1. I used to LOVE Keira Knightley just because I thought she was a really good actress but recently I’ve been annoyed with her.

    One of my friends brought it to my attention that she over exaggerates when she acts and she pooches her lips to give an alluring look that doesn’t quite work out. In my opinion, I just think she looks ridiculous when she does that with her lips (she does it in all of her movies).

    I don’t know what Walden was saying about us being jealous about her breast and lip size… I’m definitely not jealous of her in the slightest.

    • Yeah, I thought it was a pretty odd conclusion to draw. Maybe Walden was sitting at the pub with some girlfriends and said that Knightley was her favourite actor, and her friends laughed, so Walden decided they were just jealous?

  2. Pingback: a tour of the new media « a shiny new coin

  3. Is she the one in that pirate movie? Ughh I can’t even figure out who she is.

  4. Boganette, Yeah that’s her if you’re referring to Pirates of the Caribbean :]

  5. I think I just fast-forwarded to the bits with Keith Richards in them and missed all the Keira Knightly bits.

    • I particularly like this bit: Walden’s claim that female hatred of Keira Knightley is all about lust just makes explicit what’s always been a subtext in discussions of jealousy: that the green-eyed monster could lead women into a catfight, or maybe even some hate-fueled girl-on-girl action. Women fighting each other is a time-honored soft-core trope, and all the better if the combatants actually kind of want each other.

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