I’m on Crikey’s squatter email list because they’re still trying to get my money. Today there’s a little gem from Keysar Trad: Tiger birdies: he’s just a victim of the times.
Yep, you read that right. According to the head of the Islamic Friendship Association of Australia, Tiger Woods couldn’t keep his dick in his pants because he’s a victim. Interesting. And apparently Woods did it because he isn’t religious:
Fidelity is no longer expected in many a marriage, it is only expected among some people of faith, every other marriage is now free of fidelity and cohabitation clauses.
Coz, you know, all non-religious married people have sex with other people and don’t live together. Makes you wonder why they bother getting married at all.
Marriage these days is a quaint tradition that people enter out of a sense of nostalgia, all long-term relationships are under threat as more young people are choosing clubs over an early night’s sleep in the arms of a long-term partner, even some married people.
Damn those young people and their fun.
Yet Tiger’s popularity drops by 20%, and he stands to lose some of the contracts that have made him one of the most well-known friendly faces in our world. Why? Surely his lifestyle is very reflective of that of many of his fans! This lifestyle is not of his own doing either, it is the social trend that expects him to be in certain places and to interact in certain manners.
Aw see, it’s not Tiger’s fault. Society expects him to cheat on his marriage. And Trad says the “other women” weren’t all at the same time, so apparently that’s ok, and there’s no way these “other women” didn’t know who Tiger was, so it’s probably their fault. I think.
Trad’s opinion piece is pretty messy – you should go and read it because it’s hilarious. But this bit is my favourite:
If the modern world was a little more open-minded, maybe Tiger would have been able to roar into an openly acknowledged relationship with more than one woman and the rest of us can forget about his private life and those who care about golf can focus on his sportsmanship and the rest of us can get on with our lives.