Keysar Trad says cheating’s ok. I think

I’m on Crikey’s squatter email list because they’re still trying to get my money. Today there’s a little gem from Keysar Trad: Tiger birdies: he’s just a victim of the times.

Yep, you read that right. According to the head of the Islamic Friendship Association of Australia, Tiger Woods couldn’t keep his dick in his pants because he’s a victim. Interesting. And apparently Woods did it because he isn’t religious:

Fidelity is no longer expected in many a marriage, it is only expected among some people of faith, every other marriage is now free of fidelity and cohabitation clauses.

Coz, you know, all non-religious married people have sex with other people and don’t live together. Makes you wonder why they bother getting married at all.

Marriage these days is a quaint tradition that people enter out of a sense of nostalgia, all long-term relationships are under threat as more young people are choosing clubs over an early night’s sleep in the arms of a long-term partner, even some married people.

Damn those young people and their fun.

Yet Tiger’s popularity drops by 20%, and he stands to lose some of the contracts that have made him one of the most well-known friendly faces in our world. Why? Surely his lifestyle is very reflective of that of many of his fans! This lifestyle is not of his own doing either, it is the social trend that expects him to be in certain places and to interact in certain manners.

Aw see, it’s not Tiger’s fault. Society expects him to cheat on his marriage. And Trad says the “other women” weren’t all at the same time, so apparently that’s ok, and there’s no way these “other women” didn’t know who Tiger was, so it’s probably their fault. I think.

Trad’s opinion piece is pretty messy – you should go and read it because it’s hilarious. But this bit is my favourite:

If the modern world was a little more open-minded, maybe Tiger would have been able to roar into an openly acknowledged relationship with more than one woman and the rest of us can forget about his private life and those who care about golf can focus on his sportsmanship and the rest of us can get on with our lives.

7 responses to “Keysar Trad says cheating’s ok. I think

  1. Apparently its all the fault of female popstars:

    it is a world whose standards are set more by Madonna, Britney and Lady Gaga than the church or the traditions of our parents.

    So the problem is of course the sluts! Walking around like pieces of uncovered meat…

    Just what the hell is he trying to say? It’s either everyone should be poly or nobody should get married… or maybe that we should repeal the Family Law Act and go back to suing for infidelity???

    • I’ve read it a few times and I’m still not sure what he’s trying to say. That Tiger can’t be blamed for cheating because society has made him like that? That no one is getting married anymore because the young people are too busy clubbing? And the few who do get married don’t live together and have sex with anyone they want? That we should be more liberal so Tiger can have many open relationships? I’m confused. I’m sure even climate change is the fault of slutty women.

  2. Walking around like pieces of uncovered meat…

    I feel I should detract this comment as being unfair stereotyping by associating Trad with that Sheik I find really concerning as a big F Feminist solely on the basis of a shared religion… I should have just said “walking around like whores”… or something cooler like “walking around like the pieces of meat that patriarchy ultimately sees all women as and not being ashamed!”

    I read it a couple of times too… I still don’t get what he’s trying to say beyond sluts are bad, sportsman are good…. I have issues with some of his other ideas but I won’t get into it here.

  3. I’m so confused.

    So are religious people faithful in marriages? Is it just them dirty non-believers fucking about?

    If that’s the case I didn’t get the memo. I’ve been practicing social monogamy for the past seven years. Despite being “young”, having late nights and not buying into sky gods.

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