When language doesn’t do you any favours

Somewhere along the line, I’ve picked up “like”, as in “then I was like, ‘blah blah blah'”. At first it made me cringe – it’s young person’s language – but now I realise that “like” is more expressive than “said”. With “like” you describe what you said and how you said it – you mimic yourself – in a way that plain old “said” just doesn’t have. (Or maybe I’m just trying to justify my slack language.)

Still with me? Anyway, I love the way English is constantly changing, with new words being added all the time. I’m even open to new spelling. But then there’s the language of women’s mags, which reduces women to man-hunters. In an AAP story about Prince William’s NZ visit:

BAD luck ladies. The word is Prince William won’t be doing a Prince Frederik and picking up an Aussie lass in a Sydney bar.

“His heart belongs to Kate Middleton, girls,” is the proclamation from famed royal watcher, Hello! reporter Judy Wade, who is among the British media throng tracking the Prince across Australasia.

But more to the point, she asks: “Are Aussie and Kiwi girls really that interested? I actually think not.”

“At 18 he was divine, at 22 he wasn’t bad, but now, standing here next to all these sun-tanned Kiwis he looks like a pale Pommie prince with a thatch in his patch,” she said.

“He comes off looking second-best. Harry’s the heart throb now and he’s far more fun.”

Is this what royal reporting has come down to? Which prince is hotter? But it’s this bit that annoys me:

Regardless, things look to be “very stitched up” with Middleton, William’s long-term girlfriend, with Ms Wade exclaiming “you just need to see them together to see she’s staked her claim on him”.

That’s right girls, another girl was too quick for us, and “staked her claim” on a man. Her man. Gimme a fucking break.

3 responses to “When language doesn’t do you any favours

  1. ” Is this what royal reporting has come down to? Which prince is hotter?”

    Clearly you didn’t grew up reading the God awful Daily Express in the UK as I was forced to. This is what royal reporting has been for as long as I can remember. Boring, relentless and hideous, especially when Di was around.

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