Sam de Brito, I’ve had enough

It seems like just yesterday I wrote about Sam de Brito not being a feminist, yet here I am again. His All men are liars column in yesterday’s Sun Herald is truly a big pile of steaming poo.

It’s about the first time you say ‘I love you’. Goes nicely with the ‘just pick a bloke, any bloke, because you’re being too choosey and fooling yourself if you think anyone may actually like you’ nonsense in Sunday Life. (I’ll get to that later, when I can bring myself to read it.)

Aside from being abandoned as a child or getting stuck next to Layne Beachley on an international flight, having our love rejected must be one of humankind’s most primal fears.

What the fuck? Did Beachley not fall for his “hey baby, wanna root?” line at some point in the past or something?

But this is the truly frightening part:

In my other life, I run seminars for men of all ages who are struggling with their dating mojo…

Let me guess – it’s a tacky rip-off of the nasty bullshit from The Game, with a dash of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, and you finish it all up by telling men that feminism has fucked women up but at least you get to fuck them.

I’m not saying that men can’t be feminists. Many are. But Sam de Brito, you are definitely not a feminist. Wanna know what gave it away? You tell women what to do. You tell everyone that you know what women think. You blame women for everything. You think that Sex and the City is real life. You think that anything men do that is blameworthy can be shrugged off with a ‘aren’t we men silly’ smirk. And you assume that all women are the same.

I am no cheerleader for gender roles – I think they harm both sexes – however, on some issues I won’t be budged and one of them is that men should never, ever, say “I love you” first.

Why? Because as much as guys enjoy the she-loves-me, she-loves-me-not interplay of a new relationship, women live for it. It is chick crack.

When it comes to love, the fairer sex is like an auto-erotic who chokes herself to heighten orgasm; the closer they come to blacking out with confusion and despair over a man’s feelings, the greater their pleasure.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Pathetic. Truly fucking pathetic.

And there’s still half his column to go but I can’t read any more of this bullshit. So rather than simply blogging about how offensive this guy is, I’m going to complain. The editor of S, the liftout that runs his column, is Andrew Taylor. His email address is The editor of the Sun Herald is Simon Dulhunty. His email address is

All men are liars. Except Sam de Brito. He’s a fake.*

Update with hindsight: * There was an insult here, but I’ve taken it out. It was mean. Justified, but mean.

18 responses to “Sam de Brito, I’ve had enough

  1. Incredible to write that guff and even more incredible that he thinks he is ‘for us’, us being ‘the fairer sex’. ugh. I will pick up your torch, write and complain. I’m English complaining is my birthright!

    • I sent my email of complaint. Wouldn’t it be awesome if we started a campaign to get his column dropped?

      • Yeah wouldn’t it be awesome to ruin someones career just because they disagree with you.

        • Who said anything about ruining his career? His Sun Herald column isn’t his only source of income, and actually, I don’t want it dropped. I want him to stop writing about something he clearly knows nothing about. It’s not simply that I disagree with him. It’s that he’s being intellectually dishonest. He’s presenting himself as a feminist, yet implies in his column that women are too silly to be taken seriously, and we should do what he tells us to do. Does that sound feminist to you?

          • But you didn’t say that you said wouldn’t it be great if we started a campaign to have his column dropped. That kind of implies that you want it dropped doesn’t it? And again what you are really asking is that opinions contrary to your own should not be published (at least for payment) Frankly if he is presenting himself as a feminist he must surely be joking.

            • Yeah, ok, I said that, guilty as charged. But like I said in my previous comment, I just want him to stop presenting himself as a feminist – which is what I said in my email to the S editor. I don’t believe that opinions that differ from my own shouldn’t be published for payment – ha, what would I blog about then?!

  2. Comments policy: “Swearing is fine. Name-calling is not.”

    Sam de Brito. He’s an arsehat.


  3. You seem to be very angry at a lot of ‘journalists’. Weird that you’ve chosen that profession to work in yourself. Must make socialising difficult when you run into them.

    • Ha, do you mean journalists, or “journalists”? There’s only a few that I’m annoyed with personally, which is how it is in every profession, even yours. But people like Sam de Brito and Sam Brett write opinion pieces which are a different story.

  4. Kate Sikora, Bruno Waterfield, Tracy Spicer, Paul Sheehan, Leo Shanahan, Jen Vuk … you have taken them all to task for one reason or another.

    It poses the question: if you can do better, why are you not?

    • I’m sure you’ve noticed that much of my criticism towards those journos is directed at opinion pieces they’ve written. That’s the point of opinion pieces – to get people talking, to argue, to make your point, to have people disagree with you. Just like blogging. And when I’ve criticised their journalism, it’s criticism about the sexism inherent in journalese – ways of writing that so ingrained that no one thinks about it. That’s why I point it out. Journalism can be better. Should be better. Particularly if the industry is going to get through the next decade.

      Why aren’t I doing it myself? Well, after years as a journo I’ve gone back to full time study, to get my doctorate. Kinda hard to work full time and study full time at the same time.

  5. I put it to you, if you were given a twice weekly column in the Age, and a weekly TV opinion show, you would abandon your studies and embrace your new media profile.

    With all respect, you sound a bit bitter that your own career in media did not take off and are sniping at the players from the stands.

    Compromises have to be made in every industry – there’s only one Kerry O’Brien, though there’s thousands who would love to do his job. If, as you allude to, you have worked in news rooms you would understand that.

    Blaming individual journos for “dumbing down” content is like getting pissed off with the counter guy at McDonalds.

    • I don’t believe I have blamed individual journos for dumbing down the industry. I blog about the journalese we all use that is inherently sexist. And I blog about opinion pieces.

      Tosca, I’m not bitter at all. I’m fascinated by journalism. That’s why I blog about it. And that’s why I’m researching it for my doctorate. And no, I wouldn’t quit my studies if offered something like that.

  6. This article, not de Brito’s, is utter rubbish. It seems to only focus on ONE blog amongst a myraid of other SDB articles that promote feminism.

    further, if you understood feminism (basically, equality from the standpoint of humans: NOT males or females, but HUMANS) is the promotion of rights amongst all: this particular article of SDB’s in NO way suggests that women are lacking in superiorty. In fact, the contract can easily be construed: that women are emotionally stronger gender and males are reliant upon females.

    this type of writing is a cop out. You, selfishly and wrongly, in blasphemy, use the concept of Feminism being breached because of your own insecurities.

    I dare you to challenge SDB to defining feminism. I bet you come last.

    • *Sigh* Are we going to play this game? If someone said they’re not racist, and then said that all Asian people are inferior, you’d dismiss their first position because clearly they are racist. Same with de Brito. What he claims to be is very different to what comes out in his writing.

  7. I must say that I found his position on not saying I love you first absolutely hilarious. But it kind of explains why I rarely hear it from men. I think they must invest a lot more meaning to the phrase than I do and be fundamentally scared that by saying it that they may be compromising themselves.

    • Perhaps, or is it because they’re told by guys like de Brito that they shouldn’t say it first? And then completely without irony, they’ll whine about women “playing games”.

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