Happy birthday to my Nipples!

Today News with Nipples turns one. I probably should have made cakes, like the ones above. How cool are they? So instead, a massive “THANK YOU” to everyone for your comments, for showing me your own blogs, for your lurking (my “silent readers”), and for making the News with Nipples a really interesting and fun place to be.

I wanted to write about fun things today. But instead I’m writing about Tony Abbott. What a sucky way to spend a birthday.

Does anyone seriously buy the whole “we’re lost near Fossil Creek” story? As Mark Davis writes in today’s Sydney Morning Herald:

Six hours later, we found ourselves separated from Mr Abbott’s ”guide and guru”, the Aboriginal entrepreneur Ian Conway; with nightfall looming, we were seriously worried.

Yet later he writes:

After inspecting some 500 million-year-old crustaceans, Mr Conway and one of the Aboriginal owners decided to head into the bush in search of pitchuri, a plant with kava-like properties.

But the time dragged on and there was no sign of the pitchuri seekers, the only people who knew the way out.

I imagine the conversation went something like this:

Mr Conway: We’re going to find some pitchuri. Wait here, we’ll be back.
Mr Abbott: Ok. But we’ll need a housewife to make the drinks for us. And to iron our shirts. Unless there’s a tv crew around. Then I’ll do the ironing.

So, who thinks Abbott, NT Opposition Leader Terry Mills, and three journos were really lost? They had a satellite phone but no one knew how to use it. But the next bit is really unbelieveable:

After failing to make a voice call, Mr Abbott tried sending a text to the only mobile phone number he could remember, that of his press secretary Claire Kimball back in Canberra. ”WERELOSTNEARFOSSILCREEK” the text said. No one could work out how to put spaces between words.

Two politicians and three journos, yet only Abbott had a mobile phone with him, with no phone numbers stored in it, but the only number he knew was that of his press secretary? And of the two politicians and three journos, no one could work out how to put spaces in a text message? Give me a fucking break.

How does the story end? Mr Conway came back and got them, but they were all scared because it was dark. The end.

7 responses to “Happy birthday to my Nipples!

  1. happy birthday!
    hope his attachment works

  2. Give Tony a break. He’s trying to be the next vladimir Putana. Macho leader extraordinaire.

    • Ha ha ha! Did you see that main pic (I forget which website) with Putin and Abbott, shirts off, saying ‘ooh, doppelgangers’? Um, Putin is flabby and thinks he’s hot stuff; Abbott is not flabby and thinks he’s hot stuff, but that’s not the similarity they meant. They were just pointing out that both take their shirts off. Shocking.

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