The new apology

Apologies ain’t what they used to be. In the olden days, when we walked a hundred miles in the snow with no shoes to get to school, when you said sorry you were supposed to apologise to the person you offended and you were supposed to mean it.

These days, public figures say sorry IF anyone was offended. They’re not sorry they offended anyone. “Sorry if anyone was offended” is like saying “I’m sure no one was offended, but if some sooky la-la gets their knickers in a knot then I’m sorry they can’t hack it”.

Today’s “new apology” is from New Zealand’s PM, John Key, who made a dumb joke about cannibalism:

“It was a lighthearted joke, a bit of self-deprecating humour,” he said.

“But if anyone is offended, then I deeply apologise.”

It’s a subtle difference, but an important one.

22 responses to “The new apology

  1. my great great grandfather was one of the maori that used to eat missionaries. I know he would have seen the humor in it.
    Is this just a case of taking a cheap shot when the press are pushing for a comment

    • Hi dob3oy, welcome to the good ship Nipples. I was just talking to someone at work today about how we – as journos – dumb down politics so much. The biggest story in Australian politics should be Budget-related, but instead we’re making a big deal about whether or not Kevin Rudd was a bit terse on the 7.30 Report last night. By trying to see scandal in everything – and therefore headlines and the all fucking important clicks – we’re just making fucksticks of ourselves.

  2. I find the trend of non-apologising disgusting… if you’re not sorry then don’t apologise just admit you’re an asshole.

  3. unique_stephen

    So many wousers in the world. He should not have apologised.

    They did eat people and his joke was spot on.

  4. ‘A settlement negotiator with the Tuhoe tribe, Tamati Kruger, told Radio New Zealand the joke was in poor taste.”

    …..which is very different to the PM tasting bad.


  5. John Key is a moron. And that joke is only funny to idiots. Hahaha Maori eat people hahahaha! Actually the people who would find that joke funny would probably put an S onto the end of Maori because they’re completely incapable of understanding that there is no S in Te Reo no matter how many times they’re told and no matter how simple that concept is. Hrrruummph.


  6. Oh and anybody who does the whole lol lol lol let’s joke about Maori eating “missionaries”: STFU seriously. Why don’t you educate yourself about Rekohu – Moriori. If you think jokes about genocide are totes funny. Ughhh this shit just fucks me off so bad. Seriously. My partner is a descendant of Tame Horomona Rehe (Tommy Solomon) and it fucking shits me when people make jokes about shit they’ve never ever tried to understand. An entire people were almost destroyed and nobody seems to care about it. I take those kind of “jokes” very seriously – to me it’s no different to jokes about the Holocaust. And no amount of ‘sorry if you’re offended’ makes it OK. And also dude – how the fuck would you know if your great-great-great grandfather would think that joke was funny? Sorry to hijack NWN but seriously – I hate shit like that – Nobody who knows what happened to Moriori thinks cannibal jokes are funny.

    • It’s cool Boganette, you’re not hijacking. Clearly it’s something you are really passionate about – and something I know bugger all about. But, you can’t attack dog3oy about what his great great grandfather might have found funny, because he’s more likely to know that than you are.

      However, John Key should know better than to crack jokes like this. And, he then brushed it off by calling it a “bit of self-deprecating humour”, which it clearly isn’t. Self-deprecating humour is taking the piss out of yourself. As far as I can tell, there was no self-piss-taking in his comments.

  7. Yep fair call – I apologise to Dog3oy. Giving up smoking has left me prone to random outbursts of rage usually triggered by something idiotic John Key has done. I am amazed that the leader of my country thinks it’s OK to make jokes at the expense of people he is apparently trying to negotiate with. It shows his complete lack of respect for Maori and pretty much anyone who isn’t a smug rich white asshole like he is. Oh there I go again! I’m going to go have another coffee πŸ™‚

  8. I’m getting there. One day at a time. I’m slightly less stabby today but it is only 7AM. Thanks for asking πŸ™‚

  9. do they? I’ll tell superdik he is having withdrawls at the mo and is replacing the tabs with icepops

  10. David Campbell has apologised for visiting a gay sex club.

    I think he’s sorry, that he got caught, rather than sorry for anything else.

    I pity what his wife must be going through.

  11. I wondered about the boobs too.

  12. Pingback: Bushby likes cats so the meow wasn’t an insult | the news with nipples

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