All the important news

Today, page three of the Sydney Morning Herald: Frock and roll for women as tidy Monday slips into frazzled Friday:

AS YOU lope into work this morning and blink at the computer screen, cast your eyes around you. Does Jenny from accounts look a little lopsided? Is Mary from HR slightly unkempt?

According to an English study, it’s only going to get worse.

Research by a British department store, Debenhams, shows women spend an average of 76 minutes getting ready on a Monday, a figure which dips to 40 minutes by Tuesday.

For starters, who’s buying the idea that a department store paid someone to conduct this important research for the good of the nation, as opposed to getting women to buy shit? Who’s buying the idea that these stats didn’t just come from the PR team asking the women in the office? Can I see a show of hands? Hmm, exactly as I suspected: ten out of ten News with Nipples readers can see through this bullshit. Had better put out a media release so that gets picked up by the international media and reported as a Fact About Women.

But back to the article, because it gets better:

The findings are an insight into the important but under-studied world of how women get dressed in the morning. While men simply have to decide on ties and socks, girls face far more intricate choices, between skirts, trousers, dresses, blouses and shirts. And that’s before accessories are considered.

Now, I know Jacqueline Maley is a funny lady, so it’s possible the entire piece is taking the piss. BUT, if that’s the case it should be on the back page, not on page three.

[Kate Watson, a 26-year-old journalist from Potts Point] tries to simplify her preparations by studying the weather and laying out an outfit every night before work. But if the forecast is wrong, she is flummoxed.

Oh, those crazy girls in the office with their puny brains getting flummoxed by a bit of rain.

14 responses to “All the important news

  1. Wow *blinks* wow.

    Seriously?

  2. Fark, I’m so envious. Imagine having the time to lay out outfits for work. Oh, and study the weather.

  3. I wear whatever’s clean, sometimes it takes me a whole 10 minutes to get dressed because I can’t find matching socks.

    • I used to have a housemate who took two hours to get ready each morning, and I always thought ‘honey, if it’s taking you that long to put on your make up, there’s something wrong’.

      • It takes me about 15 minutes because it takes me so long to wake up properly. My workmate and I were talking about how stupid the study was today and she said she’s ready and off to work within 10 minutes.

        Mind you – one day I turned up to work wearing a different boot on each foot. Still anything for a little extra sleep.

  4. I don’t get ready quickly in the morning, I don’t do anything quickly in the morning. I need time to repeatedly hit the snooze button, time to shower, do hair and make up, work out my clothes and shoes cos I’m not organised enough to think the day before, make tea and lemon juice, feed the cat, whinge a bit, stare into the middle distance a bit and kiss Superdik a bit. This takes me a minimum of 40 mins, longer if my hair needs washing! I don’t know how anyone is up and out in 10 mins.

    • I can’t leave the house without breakfast (unless I’m on the 6am shift, then I eat at work), but the point is that most of us don’t flaff about being flummoxed by the weather.

  5. 76 minutes???? How on earth can it possibly take someone that long???? Even if I have a bath instead of a shower I still don’t think it could take me that long.

    I do usually check the weather before I get up, but it doesn’t confuse me.

    • Hi Rebekka, welcome to the Nipples. Perhaps if I had a bubble bath, made a pot of tea, cooked a hot breakfast, read the entire paper, polished my shoes, curled my eyelashes (not that I have an eyelash curler or even know how to use one because I’m too unco to be trusted sticking metal things near my eyeballs) and hemmed my trousers, then I reckon I could use up 76 minutes. Actually, the idea of enough time for a cooked breakfast, pot of tea and reading the newspaper (instead of just scanning the first few pages) sounds rather appealing.

  6. I don’t get this at all. It takes me about 10 minutes to get ready and that would include changing when I get to work (I ride). Admittedly, though, I do have about 12 pairs of shoes at work. Looking around at some of my colleagues, who are a bit better kempt than I am (but don’t have kids, which sends the care and time factor way down), I can imagine that it would take some of them over an hour to get ready. But really, who could be stuffed?

    • It doesn’t even take me an hour to get ready for a wedding. So I guess the moral of the story is that if it’s taking you 76 minutes to get ready on a Monday (because by Friday women look like shit, apparently), then there’s seriously something wrong with your technique.

      Lorana, you have 12 pairs of shoes at work? I don’t even own 12 pairs of shoes.

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