Today, page three of the Sydney Morning Herald: Frock and roll for women as tidy Monday slips into frazzled Friday:
AS YOU lope into work this morning and blink at the computer screen, cast your eyes around you. Does Jenny from accounts look a little lopsided? Is Mary from HR slightly unkempt?
According to an English study, it’s only going to get worse.
Research by a British department store, Debenhams, shows women spend an average of 76 minutes getting ready on a Monday, a figure which dips to 40 minutes by Tuesday.
For starters, who’s buying the idea that a department store paid someone to conduct this important research for the good of the nation, as opposed to getting women to buy shit? Who’s buying the idea that these stats didn’t just come from the PR team asking the women in the office? Can I see a show of hands? Hmm, exactly as I suspected: ten out of ten News with Nipples readers can see through this bullshit. Had better put out a media release so that gets picked up by the international media and reported as a Fact About Women.
But back to the article, because it gets better:
The findings are an insight into the important but under-studied world of how women get dressed in the morning. While men simply have to decide on ties and socks, girls face far more intricate choices, between skirts, trousers, dresses, blouses and shirts. And that’s before accessories are considered.
Now, I know Jacqueline Maley is a funny lady, so it’s possible the entire piece is taking the piss. BUT, if that’s the case it should be on the back page, not on page three.
[Kate Watson, a 26-year-old journalist from Potts Point] tries to simplify her preparations by studying the weather and laying out an outfit every night before work. But if the forecast is wrong, she is flummoxed.
Oh, those crazy girls in the office with their puny brains getting flummoxed by a bit of rain.