Maturity ain’t my strong point

And it feels good.

There’s this guy I can’t stand. He used to go out with a really good friend of mine. He bashed her up, was convicted of assault, yet still tells me he didn’t hit her, and that she asked for it. Obviously, consistency isn’t his strong point.

I’ve stopped going to my local pub because he’s always there and I want to punch him in the face. Yes, I understand the irony of using violence to make my anti-violence point.

Anyway, I just walked past the douchebag in the park, and did that thing where you pretend to rub the side of your nose but really you’re flippin’ the bird. I hope he saw it.

I award myself the News with Nipples Award for Excellence in the Field of Being Childish.

23 responses to “Maturity ain’t my strong point

  1. Yep, we all know who that idiot is. He has stopped drinking at your local I think so please come back (:

  2. I am going to your local to watch the rugby this weekend. You don’t have to come to watch the game, but you could come down after perhaps!

  3. About 7.30. Its being played in NZ. Tell Man Friend I’ll be there if he wants to come down too.

  4. I think your response is very mature and dignified. Grabbing the prick by the balls, slamming him against a tree and getting an actual bird to peck his face off would be immature.

  5. “flippin the bird?”

    Unfortunately domestic violence has been part of society for generations.

    Sad really.

  6. This is excellent. You could have also done the wind-up middle finger – another personal favourite. Or the “Oh! look what I just pulled out of my pocket. A nice big Fuck You!”

    I once stopped in the middle of 3 lane traffic, in red heels, blue pinstripe skirt suit and natty white shirt, to give some cock-smoker the double handed forks – vigorously – whilst making that really ugly face where you push your tongue out against your bottom lip. Noice.

  7. I’m also proud to be immature. They recently installed a whole bunch of new surveillance cameras around my building and I give them the finger whenever I walk past one, just to declare my resistance to being constantly under surveillance. I also live next door to an adult male who I hear verbally abusing his elderly mother on a regular basis. I give the bastard the stink-eye everytime I see him.

  8. I just scream “FUCKER!!!” out the window of the car and then duck if I see someone I don’t like. It really pisses off Mr Boganette – because he does all the driving.

    • Ha! The one time I got into a screaming curse fight with another driver was incredibly satisfying.

      Mostly, I use the Police road traffic report function on their website. Knowing fuckers get a nice wee letter saying “don’t be a douche, mmkay, or we’ll be watching you” is such a good feeling.

      • Hi Amanda, welcome to the News with Nipples. What’s this traffic report function? I’ve never heard of it.

        • I don’t drive because there’s so many fuckers on the road. And because I’m a bad driver. When I used to live in Tauranga I would always get stuck behind some asshole who hadn’t tied shit shit down in the back of his ute and a bucket or tarp or something would always fly at me. And I would scream and duck (while driving) and crash for the 50 millionth time. So I just don’t drive anymore (even though I don’t live in TGA anymore Wellington has too many one-way streets).

          • I don’t drive either. I can. I have a current licence (and an unblemished driving record), but when I moved to Sydney I didn’t have a car, and suddenly 16 years have passed and I’ve been public transporting everywhere and have lost my nerve. I’m not bothered by that at all – if I’ve lived for 16 years without a car, then I certainly don’t need one. (Mind you, that’s cheating a little because ManFriend has had a work car for the last three years. Still, that’s 13 years without a car.)

  9. Hi NwN 🙂 Been following your twitter for a while since Boganette mentioned it.

    http://www.police.govt.nz/service/road/roadwatch.html

    Community Roadwatch. Allows you to make an anonymous tip to the police about bad driving.

  10. Unfortunately I never catch the numberplate of the people that run the red light when I’m crossing the road. It’s just not a good angle! If I’m in the car my partner is always telling me not to flip people off (like when they’re beeping but the barrier arm on the train crossing is going).

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