Oh, Mr Cohen

In honour of last night (at the Acer Arena, not anything rude, gee you lot have dirty minds), this:

Also, as daggy as it seems now, Pump up the Volume was one of my favourite movies as a teenager. How could it not be? It introduced me to loads of interesting music and planted one idea in my mind: freedom. Not the freedom to have a secret pirate radio station – after all, you put a large family in a house no curtains and a verandah wrapped around it and it becomes a little difficult to hide that amount of electronic equipment. And it wasn’t until Year 11 that I got my own room. And the walls were so thin that everyone would hear me talking and then barge in to see who I was talking to – but the freedom to have a secret life. As a teenager, I was very guarded about my life outside the house because, in a family of seven, it was the only thing I didn’t have to share. As a result, my parents thought I was a drug-taking, binge-drinking slut, which was incredibly hurtful and the cause of many arguments. But I was cagey about what I was getting up to simply because I wanted something that was mine.

Anyway, the second I finished high school I was outta there. And I still think there’s something odd about young people in their late teens and early twenties who live with their parents. How can you develop into an adult if you’re living with people who see you as their little baby?

Of course, that Pump up the Volume starred Christian Slater didn’t hurt either.

17 responses to “Oh, Mr Cohen

  1. Well I left home at 20 straight into a home owned with my husband which isn’t exactly freedom 😉

    But I am quite happy to have my older teens still with me and not bothered at this stage that they will most likely hang around until they are older and that, just as other friends of mine have done, I will be the one to leave them. They are free to leave but too lazy or unadventurous or too comfortable. It won’t stop them from growing up……. after all you are still waiting to be grown up yourself!

    • True – I am still waiting to feel like a grown up – but I hope you’re not doing their washing for them jayne! I’ve had housemates who had never used a washing machine (or vacuum cleaner, or cooked dinner, or cleaned the bathroom) before moving out, and let me tell you, no one likes them.

      • Yes,

        I do the washing as it is the one household chore that I actually enjoy so I prefer to give them the jobs that I dislike. They do know how to use it and the vacuum cleaner. My oldest son in grade 9 had to select and make dinner once a week as one of the conditions on his school contract (remember how they were all the rage through the noughties) so he knows how to cook. The other grumbles but when he is hungry is more than capable of marinading a steak and then cooking it to perfection. I don’t like cooking so I am happy that the cooking shows almost always have male stars and send the message that cooking is manly. I struggle to motivate them to do the washing up but as I am not a walk over they eventually capitulate and get it done.

  2. I was 21 when I married and moved out of home. In that order.

    I’m all for the kids moving out earlier rather than later but I’m not in favour of them putting themselves under unnecessary financial strain when they’re still studying, so I won’t be changing any locks on them or anything like that 😉 As for their washing, they already do their own! At 9, 12 and 13 years old. But that’s because I’m mean and lazy 😛

    • Mimbles, that doesn’t make you mean and lazy. You’re their mother, not their cleaner.

      And you know what? A little bit of financial strain is good for young people. Teaches them about money. Most of my undergrad days were below the poverty line but I still managed to have a great time.

  3. I love Leonard, He is my geratric crush.
    I moved out of home when I was 19, but moved back for a few months at a time until I was about 24.
    I’m still cagey with my parents about my life. I think it is a knee jerk reaction to my mothers incessant need to know everything and not to feel excluded.
    Drives me nuts.

  4. I left home for uni at 18, then returned to save up to travel (working and paying board I may add) when i was about 21. Apart from a month or so here and there I haven’t lived there properly since then. I was 25 when I moved to oz (broke, no family, no friends). Weirdly enough tho, when Superdik recently (seriously) suggested we kick out Fraggle (and subsequent siblings) at 18, I hit the roof. The thought appalled me and I felt that he was being tough, mean and unsupportive and I actually felt very upset at the prospect. I think the reality is though, that most young people with a sense of adventure and independence wont want to be hanging around their folks into their mid 20s.

    And as soon as Fraggle can support her own neck, I expect her to be changing her own nappies!

    Apart from sex, drugs and rock n roll, my mum knows most things about my life…which is probably not entirely wise! In fact yesterday I had a realisation of certain habits and personality traits from when I was younger that I don’t believe I have now. Some may be age, but actually I think they were her traits and beliefs and that I exhibited them at the time cos she was a very strong influence.

    • SuperDik is a big softy. I’m sure he was suggesting kick her out but help with her rent…

      Oh, I have to add how pleased I am that he has adopted the name SuperDik for his online scrabble games. Makes me so proud.

  5. I bailed from home when i was 18..

    If it had to be presented in a court of law i would state “irreconcilable differences”

    Not that i had bad parents (they were actually pretty good for a hippy wiccan chick and a bikie dude turned wine connoisseur) or was beaten up or loathed my sister or anything nasty.

    I didnt live well with my parents and it was exactly to do with what NWN is talking about – freedom.

    Man it was good. Every comfort of home, every slice of support, every sneaky ten bucks my dad used to slip me when mum wasnt looking, was nothing when compared to being able to do what i wanted, when i wanted, with no justification to anyone but myself.

    Sure the lack of funds wasnt the best – but you deal with that – and somehow have more fun when youre poor than when youve got cash, which ive never figured out why.. probably something to do with responsibility.

    That independence is still really very important to me, so im pretty lucky to have a lovely missus who gets this! awesome!

    • Yeah, I’ve never figured that out either. Was swapping broke uni student stories with friends on the weekend, and one of my favourites is when my flatmate and I were too poor to take our clothes to the laundromat, so we’d chuck the washing powder in the bath, turn the music up really loud, put our swimmers on and dance on our clothes. Got ’em clean.

  6. Leonard. I’d seriously do him. And even though he did almost the exactly the same set as last year, he was brilliant.

    I bailed at 16 during my HSC. My parents had a full Jerry Springer style separation, but the thing that saw me run off screaming was when they decided to get back together. I just couldn’t deal with their crazy. Screw you guys AND your dramz! I reconciled with them at the end of that year, and stayed until I was 21.

    I love my parents dearly now that I can view them as adult peers who made seriously crappy decisions.. They want me to move back in with them whilst I finish my degree, but I’m nearly 30! I know at least part of it is Mum and Dad wanting to make it up to me for being so crap when I was younger, and its kind of sweet. But when I stay over I catch them peeping into my room watching me sleep, or they put teddy bears in my bed, or they try and make me wear pink pyjamas (seriously!) and it’s a little claustrophobic. I like having my own life. I couldn’t abide being assimilated into theirs again.

    I hope I raise my kids with enough pride and independence and lust for life that they run from the family nest as soon as school is over (hopefully not due to my own incompetencies).

    • A friend once said to me that once you realise that your parents can and do make really crap decisions with their lives and their parenting, it makes it easier to not be so bothered by those crap decisions. And it’s true.

  7. Excuse me – I am 31 and still live at home. I have been incredibly sick since I was 15, with NO help from doctors and specialists. I’ve only just realised I have had Chronic Fatigue Syndrome all along. I HAVEN’T BEEN ABLE TO MOVE OUT BECAUSE OF MY ILLNESS. You ignore all those women who are disabled and need to live with their parents, instead speaking from an able-bodied perspective. I have quite a lot of independence. I cook for myself, do my own cleaning, wash the household’s clothes, do my own grocery shopping, take the bus and train myself. I just can’t handle moving out at this stage, with my health being so bad, and not having had any treatment for 16 years. What a judgmental bitch you are! Thanks for judging me when you haven’t had MY PROBLEMS!

    • Hi Keren, welcome to the News with Nipples. Clearly I was talking about able-bodied adult children who are perfectly capable of living by themselves. Even in your own comment you acknowledge that. Please read my comment policy that says NO NAME CALLING. You would have made your point much more effectively if you hadn’t called me a bitch.

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