Being an arsehole in public

It’s open season on Kate Middleton, with this nasty piece by UK fashion/cosmetics writer Hannah Betts: Kate Middleton urged to lose dowdy dowager look:

The tabloids called her “Waity Katie” and her wardrobe reflects this spirit of a long and somewhat arduous game.

What does that even mean? Dressing like someone who spends a lot of time waiting around means trackies and comfortable shoes, right?

Ms Middleton has played it scrupulously safe, with nothing fashiony to frighten the horses – or potential in-laws. She captured her prince’s attention when she slunk down a student catwalk in her underwear, and kept him keen with sundry nightclub finery.

That’s right girls, you too can catch a prince – or just a man – if you flash your undies and then wear fashionable clothes. Once you’ve trapped him with your venus fly trap vagina, you can let yourself go.

However, she has since had the opportunity to relax into a polished, Windsor-pleasing nouveau-Sloane guise which, with the revived interest in heritage materials, is coincidentally very au courant; that “coincidentally” cannot bear too much emphasis. Even as a teen, our duchess-in-waiting was a conservative dresser.

Riiight. So Betts is saying Middleton has dressed conservatively since “catching her prince”, yet she’s always dressed conservatively? That doesn’t even make sense.

With the exception of 2008’s roller-girl debacle [this ‘debacle’ was a dress-up roller disco charity event she put on, to raise money for sick children] Ms Middleton has been a cautious, painfully immaculate dresser in a manner that might be deemed conservative for a Tunbridge Wells school run. For a girl of 28, it suggests a case of fashion constipation.

Not since Catherine Zeta Jones gained two decades to close the gap on Michael Douglas has there been such a brazen display of lamb dressed as mutton. As with Diana at her engagement, fashion template she is not. Instead, Ms Middleton is obsessive-compulsive spick and span.

Apparently having your own style and not dressing like a slapper is a crime worthy of condemnation around the world.

Ms Middleton’s hair is her crowning glory – long, lustrous, and preposterously shiny. Celebrity hairdresser Nicky Clarke says: “Kate has had a typical, non-offensive look that has never been too scary, but not much to shout about either. It’s a simple, shire girl kind of look. Wedding hair depends on the dress, but it does need to be a little more formal, kept in proportion. You can’t just get by with a blow-dry.”

Wow, are you fucking kidding me? Not being offensive is something to mock? And then suggesting that she’ll have to do her hair for the wedding as though Middleton is too ignorant to know this – outrageous!

If you click through to the Betts piece, you’ll see there’s nothing on that page to indicate it’s opinion and not news. Even the headline – Kate Middleton urged to lose the dowdy dowager look – reads like a news headline. There’s also nothing about who Hannah Betts is, which is a major failing – knowing where someone is coming from is vital when weighing up their views.

But my main issue is this: it’s a nasty piece of work. It’s just some journo’s narky opinion without anything to back it up (much like this blog, but I don’t pretend it’s otherwise).

16 responses to “Being an arsehole in public

  1. Pingback: Tweets that mention Being an arsehole in public | the news with nipples -- Topsy.com

  2. Well, it’s good to know the British Press haven’t learned a fucking thing from what they did to Diana.

    Too conservative, and the rags will say she’s too boring to look at and reflects her ‘commitment’ to the monarchy. Too sexy, and the rags will say she’s a stain on the monarchy and not taking her position seriously.

    Sound to me the rags are bitter because they haven’t got the sexy “sunlight through the skirt” shot a la Diana. Middleton strikes me as completely understanding her role – she’s the Queen in Waiting, and she knows the expectations, and with the cautionary tale of her husband to be’s mother to go on, she’ll be even MORE conscious of what the media will do to her if her top is cut just a little too low, or her heels just a little too high.

  3. Hannah Betts is also utterly ignoring that only last week everybody was reading about how so many fashion-pundits have been heaping praise on Middleton for her fashion sense over the last few years – if she had any integrity at all she’d at least have given them an overt serve for their lack of judgement rather than simply pretending that nobody has anything good to say at all about what Middleton wears.

  4. whats wrong with her clothes – she looks perfectly normal to me. oh….its too dull to comment on. I thought moving 12000 miles would save me from such boring press but its just as bad here.

  5. A little off topic, but some of the comments at that venus fly-trap link made me want to vomit. Apparently there’s a subsection of the male population that think that women are *only* pressured to dress and look a certain way by other *women*. Funny, they listen to other men MORE when the discussion is about any subject other than denying our experiences. I’ve certainly encountered enough men nit-picking women’s appearances to realise that it isn’t just women that do it, no matter how much some men might protest.

  6. “You can’t just get by with a blow-dry” – OBVIOUSLY! LIKE OMG!

    I’m going to break my eyeballs from rolling them too much.

  7. Pingback: Virgin brides | the news with nipples

  8. Hey Nips, you HAVE to read this vomitous piece of woman-on-woman violence that turned up in one of our local rags yesterday:

    “Princess Bride in for a royal headache”:
    http://www.nzherald.co.nz/lifestyle/news/article.cfm?c_id=6&objectid=10689375

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