One toothbrush

ManFriend is away. For ten days. Ten whole days. This is very strange for me because since we met about seven years ago, we’ve been together almost every night. We don’t do everything together – eg tap dancing, watching rugby – but we always wake up together. In our first year, we’d only been apart for a total of one month of nights and that was because I had to go away a few times for work. We just really enjoy each other’s company. (Lexy, I know you have the same thing with SuperDik.)

I’ve never lived by myself. I’ve had enough shitty housemates to write my own Felafel – there was a guy who stole my underwear and had an imaginary girlfriend, another who didn’t wash his sheets for 18 months, a girl who left toenail clippings on the coffee table, another who took acid on the roof of the house during the week, a guy in the pre-mobile days who wouldn’t pass on phone messages if they were from my boyfriend, and when I asked him about it he hit me (I gave him a black eye in return and moved out), and I could go on and on – but I’ve never been able to afford to get my own place.

But now, here I am. Living by myself for ten whole days. Living by myself and being by myself, because only two of those days involve going to an office. I like myself, but shit, that’s a lot of time with just me.

So, because I set you challenges and ask you all sorts of personal questions, it’s your turn. What should I do in the next ten days?

56 responses to “One toothbrush

  1. Cook naked. Eat potato chips and popcorn in front of bad TV. Hang out on your pyjamas and paint your toenails. Read. Stay in bed all day.

    Revel in it.

  2. Dude!!
    DrMrs has been away since mid January and in the past three years has spent an average of three months away each year!

    The first few days are awesome, then its sucksville from then on.

  3. I’m tempted to say: read a book from your wish list from start to finish, go meet a friend for dinner and drinks a couple of times, go to a movie your man wouldn’t be interested in, see a live act, visit a friend who lives a bit further away, enjoy the blissful peace of being free to think your own thoughts or write them or personal goals, into a journal…and think of those less fortunate who only vaguely remember and still miss these free choices. But that would just sound sad and bitter… πŸ˜‰

    • Ah, Twitchy, I already do those things. I’m doing my doctorate full-time, so I have plenty of time to sit by myself and contemplate my belly button. And I’ll be having dinner and drinks with loads of friends over the next ten days…

  4. Ooh I love having the flat to myself when my boyfriend goes away. I’m kind of a homebody and am happy to just potter around by myself, eating and reading and watching Food TV late into the night. I’m always happy when he’s back though.

  5. Tonight, K and I are going to learn to crochet. We’re going to make one of those fabulous nanna blankets.

  6. Those are the times my sewing machine comes out and fabric gets spread around. So perhaps it would be a good time for a creative project that didn’t involve putting together thousands of words but did require space and tranquility.

    • Jayne, that’s a really good idea. I could make it Craft Week (aka, Make an Enormous Mess Week).

      • “Make an enormous mess” is what I do when Mr LadyNews isn’t around. My craft stuff ends up absolutely everywhere, and takes over the whole house.

        Also, if you’re anything like me you may have a few terrible TV shows/movies in the ‘to watch’ pile and having the house to yourself can be a good time to indulge in those guilty pelasures without feeling judged by other people who just don’t get your awesome taste, haha.

  7. oh my goodness, I can TOTALLY relate.
    My partner works in a different city three days of every week.
    I am doing great with it, until bedtime and then the pining starts! πŸ™‚
    I have allocated monday as “have a friend over for dinner night”
    tuesday is “pub quiz night” wednesday is “get my grotty unwanted chores and catch up on TVNZ on demand” night.
    Some other life saves I tried that you can also do – cook a crazy awesome meal for friends (esp friends with kids – they are so greatful and you get kiddy cuddles in return!)
    do grocery shopping in a random asian food shop – it takes FORVER to find things!
    Catch up with old friends
    Practice that thing you have forgotten to work on (for me it is guitar)
    watch movies that he wouldnt watch if you paid him (this night was an epic fail – I HATED the chick flicks!)
    do some kind of adventure with friends – hiking, swimming, a beach day etc.
    check out an events website to find stuff that is on this week.
    finish those crafty things you have been meaning to do.
    Work in a ‘soup kitchen’

    At some point in your life you will look back with envy at all this YOU time, and kick yourself if you dont enjoy it!

    • Sounds like you’ve got things sorted pretty nicely. Tonight’s craft mission (the crochet class) was a failure, but tomorrow night I’ve got Jen coming over for dinner, Wednesday I’m out with Lexy. That’s as far as I’ve planned so far. I’m not worried about being by myself – I just reckon that I’ll get bored.

  8. PS, it is only really dire when you have two toothbrushes because both of you travel for work so much that you each have a spare in your toilet bags to save unpacking!

  9. tee hee hee

    10 days

    here is a few of the things i have done when left without adult supervision.

    1.rearrange all the furniture
    2.move your bedroom into the lounge room
    3.don’t cook anything, have it all delivered.
    4.paint a mural on a wall
    5.shave your head
    6.shave your pets
    7.rearrange all of his clothing in order of colour
    8.purchase lots of plants and fill the house

    there are another 5-6 things i have done but are impractical unless you have access to a cement mixer and large quantities of milk powder..

    oh, porn and masturbation… but you knew that..

    • Ha! Those are great. We’ve already got loads of house plants, but I wouldn’t want to sleep in the living room – no blinds or curtains, which makes the porn and masturbation a bit, well, public, and I’m not yet that comfortable with our neighbours.

  10. Do all the stuff you wanted to do but didn’t because he hated them.
    Watch DVD’s that he would never watch it doesn’t have to be chick flicks just anything you put back on the shelf because you have to compromise in a relationship. Who knows maybe your a secret professional wrestling fan!!!

    or you could do some work on your Phd only joking

    • Ah, but there aren’t any things we disagree on watching. It’s quite odd, really. But maybe I will just have to do some more PhD. Damn. Actually, no, scratch that – I’m going rollerskating and to a crochet class. And drinking and eating with friends, of course.

  11. Some of these have already been listed but my immediate ideas were –
    1) Bake a cake in the nude (and do it again once he gets home as a welcome home present :P)
    2) Eat icecream for dinner. At least twice. Maggie Beer’s “fig and burnt caramel” is perfect for this kind of indulgence. Mmmm.
    3) Drag out that basket of vintage clothes you’ve bought over the years thinking, “if i just replace this zipper, remove the sleeves and/or take in this seam etc etc” and encourage your girlfriends to do the same. Have them come over, set up your sewing machine on the dining table and have an old school sewing circle. Then go to the pub in your revamped creations to celebrate.

    • You know, a lot of these suggestions make it sound like ManFriend is The One Who Takes The Fun Out Of Everything. But I did have ginger ale granita for lunch yesterday. I made it to go with gin, lime and mint. Sadly, there was no gin left.

    • On no don’t bake a cake nude, it’s like ironing nude. You only do it once because getting a burn on the stomach is a really silly thing to do.

  12. As one who definitely spends way too much time on her own (as is the life of a military wife), all these suggestions are great. I also like to take the time to wallow in my own self pity. Just because I can. Plus, the Biped and I have very different taste in tv shows. It’s fun to have supreme power over the remote control. It’s also nice to have a break from “Hey babe can you come spot me a few sets?” (How I am of any help at all is beyond me.) Also, not having to share chocolate is just pure awesome.

    I’d say find that something he hates doing/seeing/sharing and indulge. And even if it is only ten days, wallowing is definitely permissable.

  13. Rhiannon Saxon

    I feel for you. I have spent almost no nights away from my husband in 12 years. It’s not fabulous.
    But it’s not forever, AND, as I discovered after spending two weeks apart while *I* stayed at Mum and Dad’s with the kids and *he* spent two solid weeks working 12 hours a day making a very large recycled timber floor for our loungeroom (40 sq metres of mismatched 1″ thick Blackbutt, all of which needed de-nailing, thicknessing, measuring, cutting, matching-by-widths, glueing, laying, and then THIRTEEN complete sands….!!!) the reunion sex is AWESOME.

  14. thefirstJanineonthisblog

    I personally can not relate, having lived very single for most of my adult life (and when I haven’t I have found the constant contact rather overwhelming)

    All I can say is to indulge in your vices. Whatever they may be. Enjoy!

    • The constant contact is only a problem when the pairing ain’t right. With previous boyfriends I’ve always felt a little bit of relief to get back to my own space.

      As for enjoying my vices, I don’t have any. Well, any that I don’t already enjoy with ManFriend (because, really, who’s going to believe that I don’t have any?). What I was asking for in this post is suggestions for fun and silly things I can do so I don’t end up spending the next ten days on the couch by myself watching True Blood.

  15. thefirstJanineonthisblog

    You are right and very lucky to have found someone with whom you enjoy sharing your space so much.

    Hmmmm….. all I can think of is pot and pizza… but that is me. Pot, pizza and True Blood?

    • I’d really like to get season two of Green Wing, but it would be mean to watch it without ManFriend since he loves it too. Mind you, reckon I could watch it twice.

      I’ve just discovered True Blood. Never really been into vampires so I wasn’t too interested in it. But it was just sitting there when I was hungover yesterday and now I’m almost done on the first season. I still think vampire Bill is the least interesting character.

      • OMG YES! I want to stake Bill through the heart myself. Every time he says “Sookie” in that awfully sookie voice inside my head I scream. If not for the hilarity and complexity of supporting characters True Blood would suck. (Cause both Bill and Sookie bore me to tears)

        I still haven’t gotten round to season 2 yet. The down side to home schooling is the kids being home all day every day, so you can only watch somethings when they have gone to bed. I did begin watching true blood when they were up and about doing their own thing, but they all walked into the room at the same time just as Jason Stackhouse was, well, being Jason Stackhouse and all three covered their eyes screaming “MUM, Oh god make it stop make it stop.” Though I am pretty sure my teenaged daughter’s prtoestations were made through splayed fingers.

        Generally I don’t censor what my kids watch. But all three did find there is just too much sex in true blood for them to enjoy it. They now refer to it as Mum’s vampire porn.

        Since the Biped doesn’t watch it, or Buffy I tend to have Buffy marathons when he’s away. The first time I got really sick while he was deployed (about 6 years ago), I curled up all day on the lounge watching Buffy. When your 3 year old insists on being addressed as “William the Bloody”, you know you watch way too much Buffy and it’s time to get off the couch.

        • It’s only a problem if he wants to be called William the Bloody because he is bleeding profusely from an injury. Otherwise, that’s excellent parenting – creativity, language skills, history and an appreciation for things outside current popular culture.

  16. thefirstJanineonthisblog

    Ooooo I love a good TV series overdose (preferably substance facilitated to keep me on the couch). Try Big Love, Satisfaction, Weeds, or Mad Men (yeah.. try Mad Men, if you haven’t already).

    So sorry I can not suggest anything more interesting…my down time is pretty run of the mill (which is probably why I spend most of my life single…). Haven’t actually tried True Blood (but shamefully thought about it).

  17. am I the only one who is going to say this with force? – get the fucking PhD written! Honestly, I got more done in 6 days alone without anyone home (which in my case included two small and very noisy kids) than in a whole month of ‘normal’ life…

  18. @Pirra and Nips – totally with you not on team Bill! But yeah, the supporting cast of True Blood is truly fabulous, fabulous, fabulous.

    • I know. He’s been around for what, 150 years, is up to date on modern culture (he has a Wii) so I can guess he’s been up to date all along the way, and he’s still got nothing interesting to say? What a loser.

  19. Oh wow. I love wifey to pieces but when she goes away on her barbershop retreat, I love having just a couple of days to myself. Miss her terribly, but still enjoy just a little solitude. Gives me time to clean up.

    Love the vampire conversation. We started watching Trueblood only because of Anna. Really enjoyed the first season but then…. Funny you should mention Buffy – last time wifey was away, I re-visited the first season again. Only to find they were just about to show it on telly.

    Enjoy. Sounds like you really, really deserve some time dedicated to your lovely self.
    I do like the idea of cooking/baking in the nude. Blinds schminds. Mind you, that is most Saturdays for me. πŸ™‚ Then there is the ironing in the nude. Only worry is that I can’t get the mis-heard lyrics of the Blue Mink / Bananarama song out of my head – “Iron your penis”.

    News, whatever you do, enjoy it. We spend so much time with our partner, spend all our energy devoted to that special person without whom life would seem so empty, that on occasions, it is really important to focus on ourselves. This is your time to make it all about you.

  20. Come visit us!

  21. By the way, I had completely forgotten about your blog, and have just been reading through the last few posts – with side trips to other bloggers you’ve mentioned. It’s side-tracked me for HOURS! I have to tell you that this is by far the best blog I have read, and it’s been an absolutely awesome way to spend a solo afternoon. Drinkin’ beer, too. Yay to you. PS: shame about the craft lessons. πŸ™‚

  22. Now that I have a new baby (as opposed to an ‘old baby’ huh???) I Spend most days, give or take the odd lunch, alone. I really look forward to superdik coming home and look forward to the weekends as much as I ever did when I worked.

    • I know what you mean. It’s a long day when the only time you speak is to order your morning coffee. It’s probably why, when you and I catch up during the day, we go blahblahblahblah for hours. I love it!

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