Manflu over the cuckoo’s nest

I’m sick.

Real, proper sick. With aches and blocked ears and snot and coughing and a midden of used tissues building up around me.

I spent most of yesterday afternoon asleep, and slept until 11.30 this morning. Then I dragged myself out of bed to make magic soup. Can you feel the melodrama? Oh, woe is me.

Now I’m back on the couch, with a box of tissues, pawpaw ointment for my poor nostrils, vitamin C, a mug of hot water, my feet in a patch of sunlight and wishing I had a robot to make me cheese on toast. What cold remedies have you got that will make me better?

35 responses to “Manflu over the cuckoo’s nest

  1. Oh my Goodness- me too! The only thing I can keep down is jelly tip ice-cream (convenient since I have no other food in the house and can’t get my ass further than the living room.)
    Get well soon,

  2. Rhiannon Saxon

    I also am wheezing like a broken accordian and have had to use a Ventolin for the first time in 10 years. Kids are little walking snot-fountains.

    Now if you have a fully-stocked hippy kitchen I would strongly urge mullein, elecampane and fenugreek tea with honey, lemon and ginger.

    If you have any other kitchen…soup. Lemon, honey, ginger and garlic. And no cheese sandwiches. Dairy foods make you snotty. Ask the bowl of icecream I had last night. (That said a little of what you fancy, etc…)

    Also if you can afford it or have someone kind to make it for you, I always find that a fearsomely hot Thai garlic and chilli stirfry makes me feel much better when I am cold-y!

  3. Rhiannon Saxon

    Also did I mention? BRILLIANT blogpost title.

  4. V for Vicks, V for vapour rub! I love that stuff and I am wearing it right now.

    My favourite feel good thing to eat when I am sick is soup and chocolate. (Of course, not together. Hmm, but a lindt ball dropped in your coffee cup will bring an instant smile…once you actually get back the ability to taste stuff) It’s spinach, peas, carrot, leeks, bit of curry powder all cooked in broth with some cream and a beaten egg added at the end. I think that’s how it’s made. Not really sure as the man makes it for me. I’m usually too busy being melodramatic about being sick to take much notice. ( Since getting hitched and reproducing,I don’t tend to get sick very often so when I do, I milk it for all it’s worth.)

    Feel better soon. There’s just no news without nipples…

    • I haven’t used vicks since I was a kid. Wonder if it’s something that only parents have?

      • I was going to say maybe, but I have always used it even after I left home….but then realised..D’Uh, I was pregnant at 19…so I have never been vicks-less.

        The one thing parenthood taught me about vicks was that it’s best to use it on babies feet….and if you can rub it in well enough putting vicks on your own feet then putting on a pair of socks….your feet are amazingly toasty warm.

        (Also, I may be addicted to the smell. So, probably not a good source of referencing when determining if parenthood and vicks go hand in hand)

        • The sticky-ointment and socks thing reminds me of something called magnoplasm that was a big part of my childhood. A big goop of the stuff on a splinter before bed, covered with a bandaid and either a sock or bandage, and the splinter would be out in the morning. Just googled it and the internet reckons it works for blind pimples and ingrown hairs as well. Good to know.

  5. Rhiannon Saxon

    Must get some magnoplasm for Oisin’s ginormous splinter that he just got. Damn.
    Also – I lived in a sharehouse when I first moved to Sydney, and shared with a good friend who suffered from bad sinus headaches and asthma and she was a Vicks addict and brought me back to the Dark Side so I have never lived without Vicks. We keep it in our bedside table drawers…(You know, where exciting people keep their handcuffs)

    • My osteo – I call him Juan – does a sinus jiggling thing that works a treat. But the thing I swear by is desensitisation. I’ve been getting injections once a month for a few years and I’m now cured of my mould allergy and almost cured of my dust mite allergy (will need more shots for that one). It’s been amazing. I no longer need to carry tissues with me.

  6. Honey ,Lemon ,Rum . Hot . Lots of . The more you drink the better .

    • A few friends swear by hot alcohol. I’m not a rum fan these days (drank too much of it in my twenties), so I think I’m going to have a cup of honey, lemon and ginger tea. And another piece of cake.

      • You know what I’ve got a craving for? Parkin. One that’s about a week old so it’s sticky and moist. Ha, moist is a funny word.

        • Rhiannon Saxon

          Apparently it is very close to the Thai word for ‘vagina’, so a colleague of my brother’s who comes from Thailand always giggles when people talk about moist cakes.

          • Hey, I giggle when someone says moist and I’m so white I glow in the dark.

            • Rhiannon Saxon

              My younger sister Beatrix’s least favourite words in the whole world are ‘Moist’, ‘Gristle’ and ‘Oysters’.

              She clearly doesn’t like ‘st’ combinations.

              I have never had parkin.

              • I had never even heard of Parkin until now.

                I giggle when I hear the word moist too. I just about lost my shit when I watched Dead Like Me when it first came out and George spelt out moist in magnets on the fridge…. (I am twelve)

                • Rhiannon Saxon

                  I think that Parkin is some kind of Cornish bready-cakey thing? It’s probably….moist.

                  • It’s moist if you leave it for a few days before eating it.

                    It’s got oats and golden syrup and treacle. It was always “Dad’s cake”. HP was Dad’s sauce. Vitaweats were Dad’s biscuits.

                    • Rhiannon Saxon

                      Hmmm sounds like English flapjacks. (As opposed to the American pancake flapjacks)

                      My dad is an afficianado of the Worcestershire, but he generally eats mince-y thing if he eats meat. We grew up rushing to eat chops and three veg whenever Dad was away, until he would come back and make us eat 10-vegies bolognaise, or colcannon, or curried cauliflower, or other deeply nutritious things.

                      (That reminds me of an anecdote – my sister Guin was at a yuppy vegetarian pizza restaurant in Canberra and one of the people she was with said, ‘Oh this Nut-Righteous pizza looks good, I might have that.”
                      Guin thought, ‘Nut Righteous? What an…appropriate name for rigorously healthy and morally upright food at an expensive vegetarian restaurant”, and then, looking at the actual menu, she said to her friend…
                      ‘Oh…I think you may mean the ‘Nutritious’ pizza”…

                      Ever since then anything bran-y, or barley-esque, or tofu-y or relentlessly wholemeal in my family has been described as ‘Nut Righteous”.

        • You owe me one of those!

  7. It’s not a taste test it’s medicine ,nice medicine .
    Damn now I feel a cold coming on.
    Oh well get the medicine out .

  8. Awww I feel your pain – I too am at home with a mega cold – shivery, achey, sneezy etc. Even my eyelids hurt.

    I swear by copious amounts of hot ribena, cream of tomato soup, or ramen soup and clean pajamas. Drugs don’t seem to be touching this cold for some reason

    Hope you and me and everyone else with a lurgy feels better soon!


  9. Why do I know about parkin? Something about a treacle mine…kids TV show…*googles* aha! The Treacle People! I have watched some seriously weird tv in my time thanks to having kids.

    (For the incurably curious, here’s the first episode:

    Best cure for the common cold? Wait about a week 😛 Meanwhile, I’d put in another vote for lemon and honey tea along with whatever you happen to feel like eating, especially if it’s made by someone else 😉

  10. Pingback: This is why | the news with nipples

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