Cameron’s royally creamed his pants

Oh look, today we have someone who couldn’t honour his own marriage, writing about how only silly women are interested in marriage, but it’s ok to celebrate the wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton. At least, I’m assuming that Ross Cameron, occasional opinion writer for the Sydney Morning Herald is the same socially conservative Christian who lost his seat of Parramatta after having multiple affairs. His wife being pregnant didn’t stop him from being a whore. That’s not very Christian-like behaviour, is it?

Ross Cameron’s opinion piece in the Sydney Morning Herald: William, Kate and everybody you know:

(I’m guessing the sub came up with the Miranda July reference in the title. Cameron doesn’t look like he’d know who she is.)

For every woman in a relationship with a ”dud” male, it is an affirmation that somewhere out there is a bloke prepared to say ”I do”. Every wedding reassures an army of single 30-somethings that ”what I am asking is not unreasonable”.

Ah yes, because every woman views every relationship in terms of its marriage potential, because the only thing women want is to be married. Since the day I was able to form thoughts in my own head, all I’ve wanted is to be married. Frankly, it doesn’t matter who the bloke is, as long as I’ve got that ring on my finger and that magical piece of paper that says my relationship is somehow different to paperless relationships. And look, he’s even added the spectre of the desperate 30-something, biological clock tick tick tocking. I’m surprised he didn’t go all Paul Sheehan on our arse and throw in a Sex and the City reference to show he’s down with the kids.

The vows are uttered in public because they are so outrageous they have to be witnessed.

I guess if you promise to be faithful to someone and then have a shitload of affairs, wedding vows would seem outrageous. Or is that being unkind?

This wedding is an expression of one of our deepest and most pervasive myths – the princess. Despite an intense feminist assault, this little black duck is not giving up. Disney Consumer Products raised $300 million from princess sales in 2001 but will earn $1 billion this year.

Wait, that doesn’t even make sense. The princess isn’t a little black duck – she’s in every fucking toy aisle and every fucking costume available to a little girl. (In costume land, women get the sexy princess version.) It’s like he’s so desperate to write something that is “hip and happ’ning” that he’s just vomiting key phrases on the page and it all ends up being meaningless. Seriously, when was a princess – a Disney princess – ever a little black duck?

If you were to remove every woman who had ever declared “I want to be treated like a princess”, you would solve Sydney’s road congestion.

Oh, just fuck right off with your dismissive attitude towards women. We can see through you.

The first half of Ross Cameron’s piece is about how women are silly because the only thing they want is to get married, and the second half is a blowjob for the monarchy. About how you’re not a real human if you don’t watch the wedding. It just doesn’t make sense.

16 responses to “Cameron’s royally creamed his pants

  1. Wow. That offends me in so many ways. I am 40 – that apparently hopeless age just past “thirty-something”, I am not married ( I have no particular objections to the idea but I’m also busy living my terribly interesting life, not sitting at home hanging around waiting for a prince), I would absolutely hate being a princess, I violently object to being pigeonholed by my marital status – I am NOT “a single” – and I probably won’t be watching Will and Kate’s wedding. Apparently some of us are not so easy to categorise.

    Also, I am a moderately conservative Christian who has no hesitation in telling Ross Cameron he can fuck off with his offensive, sexist labels and his ignorant, sweeping generalisations about women.

    • Well said. I’m having a real problem with opinion pieces being published that have such negative views about women. It’s that whole thing about swapping a word (eg Indigenous Australians) and everyone would be howling about how offensive it is. But it’s still ok to put down women in an ill-thought-out opinion piece in a “quality broadsheet”.

  2. Quality broadsheet ???? stop fibbing, your just after a job .
    Have liked the last few blogs and added a tick at Best Aust Blogs .
    Good luck.

  3. I am grateful they didn’t print it in “The Age”.
    I have a picture in my head: the editors reading that column and guffawing. “Ha! That’s a good one, Ross.”
    When does my anti-feminist two-by-four arrive in the post? When?!!!1!

    I have been trying to not read anything which relates to the wedding. I foolishly read a piece in the Guardian/Independent that said when K was at uni with W, she received a rating of 2/10 from ‘the boys’ which galvanised her to comply more closely with Standards of Acceptable Femininininity, and that’s how she came to wear the see-through mini-dress which won W’s heart.
    The writer didn’t see anything wrong with the story. She implied it was all rather romantic, an example for us all to follow.
    Feminist theory should be mandatory in school.

    • Really? Oh, that’s awful. I did see an article a while ago about how William’s (incredibly privileged and arrogant) mates gave Kate shit because of the job her mother did when she was younger, and the whole article was couched in terms of “Kate isn’t good enough”, rather than “William’s mates are dickheads”.

  4. What ‘intense feminist assault’?

    If anything, the ‘intense assault’ has always come from the other direction. Whenever feminism has looked to be gaining ground in the gender equality stakes, the cultural establishment goes into backlash assault mode. It saturates the culture with an onslaught of drippy chick romance (e.g. celebrity marriage) and biffo gladiatorial combat (e.g. war and sport), just to remind us of what archetypes humanity is really suppposed to be craving – ones that fit snugly into the patriarchal social order.

    • Once you have three pieces of legislation that recognise women are full citizens, you have an intense feminist assault on society. In America, they had enfranchisement, no fault divorce, Roe vs Wade, the Bradley amendment which says police can arrest a husband for beating or terrorizing his wife, and Title IX (X?) which orders colleges to give women’s sports equal funding to mens’, so they are having a feminist revolution, the poor things.
      We reached three in Victoria when abortion was decriminalised, but I wasn’t aware this dreadful state of affairs had spread to NSW.

    • And it mocks feminism constantly and turns it into a big bad evil monster that Young Women Would Do Well To Stay Away From.

      • Rhiannon Saxon

        I had to explain to a very nice and intelligent 19 year old recently after she said, ‘No of course I am not a feminist!’ that actually, if she believes that she has the right to a vote, to equal work for equal pay, the right to live on her own with no social disapproval, the right to own her own property before and after marriage, blah di blah di blah, that indeed she certainly IS a feminist. She was stunned. AND interested. And confessed that all she had heard about feminism was essentially ‘man-hating separatism’.

  5. boom, roasted

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