When I grow up I want to be age-inappropriate. I want to still be wearing tights like these:
And necklaces like these:
And pretend I’m (the late) Isabella Blow’s less-daring niece:
When I grow up I want to be fabulous. As in, “faaaahbulous, darling”, like 70-year-old Maria Venuti:
And Susie Elelman, who wonderfully, inspiringly, refuses to allow unnamed journos to dictate what she wears:
Law and Shoes got me thinking about this, with her great post, The Dress Code Bullies & the Mini Skirt Use By Date:
The problem with what-to-wear articles and so-called dress codes in general is that the end result is not better dressed, happier people but conservatively dressed, self-censoring people.
According to the latest “style rules” (details in the post above), you can’t have a belly button piercing after 35, long hair after 53, or wear a swimsuit after 61. I guess that means that once you retire you can swim nude. Won’t that make the body police happy? (And speaking of body police, Law and Shoes writes about Nedahl Stelio, who says minis are ok on Elle Macpherson but not on Janice Dickinson, simply because of how Stelio has judged their bodies. I’ve written about Stelio’s hypocrisy before.)
When I grow up, I want to be still saying “vagina” really loudly in public. I want to be loud and confident and opinionated like Roseanne Barr:
When I grow up I want to be eccentric like Vivienne Westwood, even though she finds the term boring and overused:
When I grow up I want to be shit-stirring like Germaine Greer, because even though I don’t agree with everything she says, I love that she says whatever the hell she wants:
What these women have in common is that they won’t do what our culture tells them to do. They didn’t become invisible when they turned 40. Or when they turned 50 and 60 and 70, which makes them the best role models a woman can have. Every time someone looks at a picture of Madonna and says “oh, put it away”, I want to shake them by the shoulders and yell, “why? Are you so precious that you refuse to look at a body that is older than your own, and are you so conceited that you think you can tell another person what they’re allowed to wear?”.
And since I’m putting in my requests, when I grow up I’d love to be smokin’ hot like Helen Mirren, but alas, I think you have to be smokin’ hot to start with: