There’s nothing more pathetic than writing about how old people should disappear

Ok, so you know I get a perverse pleasure from looking at The Punch and laughing at how shit it is. And rolling my eyes at how many Coalition MPs get a run in it. And feeling smug about how there’s no quality control (I’m thinking about everything written by Nigel Bowen). And shaking my head at how it’s all the same old shit that’s been published before and will never generate intelligent discussion in the comments.

Well, guess what? Surprise, surprise, today there’s a very stupid piece by Jason Tin saying old people are gross: There’s nothing more pathetic than an ageing star:

Earlier this week, Liz Hurley tweeted about the nation’s obsession with the movements (or lack thereof) of Shane Warne.

“FYI Slender Shane ate very rare steak and chips for dinner. Hold the Front Page,” she wrote, while totally not attention-seeking at all.

Ah, no Jason. That’s Liz Hurley taking the piss out of the “news” media, particularly the organisation you work for. She’s taking the piss out of photographers who have been camped outside her door to get a photo of Warnie, who think someone leaving a house is Very Important News. Jason, I’m a little embarrassed for you right now.

Looking at his profile page, he writes about things after everyone else has: beards, not owning a car, hipsters. That’s real finger-on-the-pulse stuff there.

There is also so much cross-promotional inbreeding going on that I wouldn’t be surprised to see a game show hosted by a grinning, two-headed, taxidermy fusion of Grant Denyer and Karl Stefanovic.

Neither of those people are old, so Jason, what’s your point? Are you writing about how you don’t want to look at people who are older than you, or about the fact that Australian tv executives are making the cheapest tv possible?

Then, of course, there was the time Channel Nine execs cracked open the Hey Hey It’s Saturday sarcophagus and resurrected its embalmed host, Daryl Somers.

As I recall, Jason, your news organisation ran prominent stories across all its websites about a Facebook page calling for Hey Hey to be brought back.

And then there’s some blah blah blah about the Logies. I guess he expects a country with a population of 22,675,602 to produce the same tv awards show as a country with a population of 311,960,177.

We deny them the privilege of slipping quietly into irrelevancy behind the curtain, leaving them unable to create the carefully-crafted illusion of graceful ageing.

I call bullshit, Jason. You’re saying that once people have a certain number of wrinkles they have no right to earn a living the way they want to. Are you really that shallow?

If someone chooses to age “gracefully” (ie, out of Jason’s sight) or wearing oversized hot-pink cat eye glasses and orange hotpants while yelling “boobies!” from the back of a taxi, that’s their business. Personally, I hope my days over 60 are an eccentric, multi-coloured, shouty bunch of fun. Besides, we all know that journalists who write ill-thought-out opinion pieces about how they don’t want to look at old people are the ones who fade into irrelevancy.

14 responses to “There’s nothing more pathetic than writing about how old people should disappear

  1. Oh yes yes yessity yes, as that aging, irrelevant scarecrow ‘Spud’ from Bob the Builder, would say.
    (He also says things like ‘Ow, my poor parsnip nose.’ but that’s not relevant to this post, except in a general, ‘this style of ‘news’ smells bad’ way.)

  2. I know nothing about journalism but I know I’d rather see Jason’s writing disappear than I would any older person. I wonder if his own elderly relatives are being kept out of sight in the dark.

  3. Thank you for sticking up for us older folk . Reading news ltd again, you can’t help your self .

  4. The lack of self-awareness in the dribble posted on The Punch is breathtaking.
    You wonder if they’re being deliberately ironic or just immensely stupid.

  5. I am crazy-tired and unable to comment intelligently. But this? “I hope my days over 60 are an eccentric, multi-coloured, shouty bunch of fun.” Made my day.

  6. Liz Hurley is old? A quick glance at Wikipedia tells me that she’s in her mid 40’s (3 years younger than I am), so she’s hardly past it.

    Back in the mid 20th century, women were expected to become invisible once they hit the big FOUR-OH, but I thought those days were long gone. Someone should probably tell Jason Tin that it’s been the 21st century for over a decade now.

    A thought just occurred to me: Maybe it was Warne who was supposed to be the creaking, ancient one. Warne’s 7 years younger than I am, so I must have one foot in the grave by now.

  7. I used to amuse myself daily by reading The Punch. I’ve even liked their Facebook page, which, upon reflecting on the standard quality of writing, seems like a poor decision, but I’m too lazy to figure out how to unlike it. These days, if I do make a concerted attempt to read an article in its entirety, it’s usually just to see how far removed the actual content is from the attention-grabbing title.

    If it’s not an article about celebrities who continue to be celebrities after their apparent use-by dates, it’s a piece about 83-year-old boob jobs. What’s with the media fascination with wrinkles? Did I miss the memo advising that once you hit a certain age, you are to be hidden away from the beautiful people in a vacuum sealed room, slowly awaiting death? For fuck’s sake. While the thought of octogenarian breasts hurts me in my special place, I’m still willing to acknowledge that not only do they exist, but that they have as much right as any others to do so. Like you said in your post, what someone wishes to do with their time or body is their business.

    Now, where is this taxi with the boobies that you speak of?

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