Yesterday we shared the love. Today let’s share the hate.
Ten things I hate, in no particular order:
1. I hate Tony Abbott and everything he stands for – and we all know that all he stands for is Tony Abbott. I hate that he is throwing the biggest tanty in political history, daily demanding an election because he didn’t win the last one. Dude, grow up and let it go. I also hate how nasty, superficial, unintelligent and slogan-driven political discourse has been since he became Coalition leader.
2. Charity collectors on the street who don’t know when to stop. I’ve been part-time employed, unemployed and casually-a-few-days-a-month employed while doing my doctorate, yet when I tell them that this is why I can’t support their charity, they say “it’s only $50 a month, just sign up”. I don’t have a spare $50 a month. One horrid young woman told me to get a second job so that I could support her charity. I told her to fuck off. Another suggested I stop supporting MSF and support his charity instead. How fucking rude. I hate those male charity collectors who reach out and grab at you. You see them do this to women all the time and the women recoil in fear and horror and run away. When someone lunges at me and tries to grab my hand, it makes me want to punch them in the cock. I hate the ones who say “excuse me, can I just ask you a question” and pretend they’re not going to ask you for money. Each month I support several charities and several insurance companies, and that’s all the spare money I have. (Yes, I had to yell “I am unemployed and have no money” to one today because he wouldn’t leave me alone.) I know it’s a shitty job and they’re paid commission, but so many of them make me deliberately not support their charity – and I’m a sucker for a charity.
3. Oysters. You know you’ve all been sucked in by the biggest culinary scam in the world, right? It’s just apprentice chefs gollying in shells.
4. I hate working for bosses I don’t respect. If your job involves managing people and you can’t do that, then you are shit at your job. One former boss, let’s call him Mr Toupee, thought he was awesome, even though he was a boring alcoholic with no professional or personal qualities that anyone would describe as awesome. Awesome tool, maybe.
5. The heat and humidity of a Sydney summer. Yuck.
6. Touching velvet and velour. It’s like fingernails on a chalkboard, but worse. Much much worse. Just thinking about it makes me curl my hands into fists and tuck them in my armpits to protect them from touching these horrible fabrics.
7. I hate the way my family always thinks the worst of me. It doesn’t make me sad, just angry that they are so sure they’re right. (On the up side, I have so many fabulous friends that I’m lucky to be able to choose my family.)
8. Kyle Sandilands. Gawd, he makes my skin crawl.
9. I hate that climate change deniers are so powerful in this country. Selfish arseholes, the lot of them.
10. I hate that Australia locks up people who have risked their lives to ask for our help to make them safe. I hate that so many dickhead Australians believe that only poor people can flee a country. I hate that journalists report every boat arrival, but not every plane arrival. I hate that journalists have demonised asylum seekers more than certain politicians have, because they simply report the untrue claims made by those politicians without pointing out how wrong they are.
That felt good. Your turn.