Writer’s block

I’ve got a bad case of writer’s block. Blogger’s block, fiction block, doctorate block. (Although it’s really just the first two because I’m not doctorating for a few weeks around Christmas. Everyone needs a break from work. But I still find academic writing harder than I expected, as so much of it is such a wank. So many articles are written to exclude people, to keep them out of your ideas, which is dumb because what’s the point of researching and writing something if your only audience is a small group of academics in the same field? Sure, someone may mention your study in their literature review years later, but is that the best you can expect in the industry of ideas?)

So I thought I’d try writing through it. Any old crap and see what happens.

What happens is this post.

Apologies in advance.

I’ve started writing fiction again, starting with a short story. Haven’t done that in 15 years. I haven’t got the ovaries to post it here, but trust me, that’s a good thing for you guys. For the last two days I’ve been on a two-cider-block-buster: after two drinks, I just write with a vague plot in mind, safe in the knowledge that I can cut cut cut. And I will cut cut cut.

So I sat down to write a post about writing.

I got up and vacuumed the floor.

I ate a biscuit.

I photographed it:

One bite in

One bite in

I came back to the post and uploaded the photo.

I admired the “swan vase with evil dragon face” that I bought on ebay yesterday:

Swan vase with evil dragon face

Swan vase with evil dragon face

I mopped myself in a corner with the computer, in a less extreme version of this:

I went to the gym.

I sat back at the computer and looked at this post.

I have a very clean house.

25 responses to “Writer’s block

  1. Hey there you. Nice to see you back.

    Been there for over a month too emotionally knackered to write anything at all.

    Sometimes you just have to get the words down there and you did.

    That is one helluva an ugly thing you bought from eBay though girl 😉

  2. Plz find the ovaries to post the story. 🙂
    Chloe

  3. I don’t have to wrote a whole lot and thank goodness I dont!! I struggle with it at the best of times and as you’ve discussed previously, I can really only write when the pressure is ON!

    Cider is always a good option for writers block because… Even if you don’t get through it.. HEY drunky!!!

    • I shall be drinking more cider very soon. With our neighbours, the ones who gave us The Stick.

      I usually find writing very easy. But fiction, that’s a whole nutha story. Oh hey, joke! Mind you, it’s my first attempt in 15 years, so a bit of stuggle is to be expected.

  4. You are as accomplished at procrastination as I am! And that is saying something.

  5. Love it, love it, love it – and the pics,. it helps me see who Im writing to. Academia is hard, ( Macadamia ? nuts are softer ), best thing to do when you dry up, is just chill. If it’s in you it will come out – you just have to wait for the switch to turn you on.

  6. But hey you have a clean house, I call that a win.

  7. How could I have lived my whole life and never heard the term “have the ovaries”. I love it.

    • I used to say “have the balls” but then I thought “hang on, women do things that are waaaay harder than the things men do”. Speaking of such things, how is your new little one?

      • I was chatting to Leah and GG yesterday morning and had the exact same realisation, but the only alternative I could come up with at the time was “had the gumption”. I like your ovaries version far better. Ella is .. wonderful. I’m wandering around the house humming Stevie Wonder’s “Isn’t She Lovely”. There is a very happy vibe in the Mr & Mrs Melski household 🙂 Much happiness.

        • Aww, that’s lovely. How’s Jake with his little sister?

          • He’s been quite amazing – he’s a sweet, generous hearted little character most of the time anyway – and he’s been very positive about the whole thing so far, considering the huge loss of turf he’s experienced (gone from having mum and dad all to himself to sharing the limelight). He’s gotten a few “congratulations on becoming a big brother” presents and it’s helped that Ella was born during the Xmas hols so if anything he’s actually getting more attention than he normally would as we’re all hanging out at home. Hopefully the good big brother vibes will continue, but you never know. So far so good in any case.

  8. That swan looks as possessed as shit. I hope it was a bargain.

    What sort of biscuit is that?

    (Aren’t you glad I ask the tough questions?)

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