I keep an eye on the entertainment sections of news sites, a la Caitlin Moran, even though sometimes it’s hard to tell which bits are the entertainment section, and sometimes I don’t know who the “celebrities” are. But sometimes you see an article so stupid that you don’t know whether to use your feminist voice, laugh until you cry, or just feel sorry for the person who wrote it.
Like this one, by the Daily Telegraph‘s body shamer/gossip writer, Ros Reines: Elle of a way for Macpherson to get revenge on Arpad Busson:
WAS it just sheer coincidence that Elle Macpherson should grab the attention of world paparazzi at the same time Uma Thurman had a child with the Aussie supermodel’s ex-boyfriend, French financier Arpad Busson?
No sooner had 42-year-old Thurman finished giving birth to her and Busson’s daughter in New York last Sunday, than Macpherson was shamelessly flaunting her fabulous figure in a series of teensy weensy bikinis in Ibiza.
OH MY GOD SHE WORE THAT BIKINI ON PURPOSE. ON PURPOSE! Because Elle Macpherson is NEVER in a bikini…
According to the internet, Macpherson and Busson broke up in 2005. Seven years ago. So, in Ros Reines’ world, how many years after a break up does someone need to wait before they’re allowed to wear a bikini again? Eight? Thirteen? Seventy-four? I bet Reines believes that there is An Actual Feud between Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston. Honey, you need to Let It Go. The people in those relationships have moved on, it’s time you did too.
And as if her knockout body wasn’t enough to send those shots ricocheting around the world, Macpherson obligingly cavorted with Jenkins with the sort of delicious grin on her face which seemed to say: “take that Uma”.
What’s the emoticon for “I’ve just read something so stupid that my eyes are buggin’ out of my head”?
You can hardly blame her as Macpherson and Busson had a long and happy relationship together with two delightful sons, Arpad Flynn Alexander, 14, and Aurelius Cy Andrea, 9, to show for it.
Well, it can’t have been too happy since the two people in that relationship decided it wasn’t working.
And so here we are, yet again, with another powerful, successful woman being defined by the men who have been in her life at some point. All of her actions are filtered through the idiotic view that she’s doing it all – even getting out of bed in the morning – simply to win him back/get back at him/get back at the woman he’s seeing seven years later/win him back from the woman he’s seeing seven years later. Oh, yawn. Wouldn’t it be nice if, just once, they changed the script?