Sex and sexuality today

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Pooja Bedi

Pooja Bedi represents the uninhibited, strong-willed, personally and professionally successful modern Indian woman who has donned many hats. His prolific career spans the globe
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Ranveer Singh’s bold photos sparked a series of predictable and unremarkable reactions. Whether the photos are sexy, sensual or sexually expressive and whether they are nude or semi-nude, they will trigger the ire of people who have been conditioned to react in a definite way. In India, sex is a million volt topic. You are shamed if you have sexual fantasies, embarrassed for having sexual feelings towards someone, guilty for engaging in premarital sex, depraved if you enjoy having sex, “dirty” if you are open to sexual experimentation beyond the missionary position and weird if you have a sexual preference besides being heterosexual. If you choose to wear sexy clothes or pose sexy, it is considered immoral.

Even talking about sexual needs, foreplay and orgasms is considered embarrassing and unnecessary. Sex is the most natural experience. You are on this planet because your parents had sex. If you weren’t meant to enjoy it, God wouldn’t have designed the human body to receive pleasure. Lack of sex in marriages leads to extramarital affairs, the wrong sex can lead to the demise of a relationship. Sweeping problems under the rug is not a long-term answer or solution for healthy relationships. Talking about sex and sexual needs is essential. Men orgasm faster than women, but because it’s not a talking point, a woman feels like a prostitute for asking for an orgasm and frees husbands from the need or responsibility to do so. give one to their wife. Not being open about sexuality is not a way to protect society. This reflects either patriarchy or the morality imposed by religion. From an era of courtesans, multiple wives, brothels, men being “studs” for sleeping with multiple women and women being “sluts” for sleeping with multiple men, we are still stuck with a a permissive state of mind and even glorifying the sexual needs of men. while frowning at women for the same. Men can go to dance bars, but how would women in India be perceived if they went to a male dance bar? Photos of half-naked women abound in magazines and they were acceptable. But if the men pose provocatively and the women pass out, it’s a media storm. The irony is that the same country will worship a Naga baba who walks around completely naked with his genitals well exposed and give him respect and money. The same country has pornography carved on the walls of its temples, like Khajuraho. The same country is the origin of the greatest sexual bible in the world, the Kamasutra. Eroticism and nudity are an integral part of Indian culture and we have to accept that sex, sexuality, sexual needs and sensuality are a normal expression. The law must recognize and protect an evolving moral compass, because it is important for the well-being of society to move beyond prejudice, hypocrisy, control and narrow-mindedness. The same social media platform shows a nude Kardashian and a Ranveer Singh. Nudity abounds on this platform. Why does the “moral police” only target Ranveer? Asking the right questions about sex and sexuality can only strengthen a society that suffers from the control and moral standards of those who are selfish and conditioned to maintain an antiquated, fearful, regressive and agenda-driven response.

My 19 year old daughter has always been extremely shy and
obedient, but recently I noticed that she is not generous when it comes to to give him things that could be useful to others. She tends to to be stingy when it comes to giving to those in need or even give away things she doesn’t need. I don’t want to criticize and put her down by pointing her out because she is very shy and sensitive. How should I handle this situation?

You need to understand the root cause of his need to hoard. Small incidents that seem inconsequential to adults can become a source of deep programming for children. Start by slowly donating your own stuff and without making it obvious, celebrate how wonderful the benefits are for the people receiving and the pure happiness they have experienced. Perhaps over time discuss the concept of good karma and the angels that exist in human form. Try not to make your agenda obvious and if after a few months it still hasn’t taken hold, maybe sit down with her and gently dig in to figure out why she would cling to what she doesn’t need to get. more in-depth answers.

I’ve always been a bit overweight and my friends have always
pulled my leg for this. Recently I met a guy who is extremely
handsome and is super fit. He says he’s interested in me, but I I find it hard to believe that someone so beautiful can be serious about dating me. I’m 30 and not really into a space where I want to hang out casually. Although I’m tempted to give it a shot, I I don’t want my heart to be broken. What should I do?

Not all relationships are about giving your heart away and it’s forever. Ask him what he likes that piqued his interest. What you need to work on first are self-esteem issues and why your embarrassment over body weight overshadows all the amazing qualities and positives you possess to make a great companion, lover, girlfriend or wife. And remember, relationships between two skinny people don’t work either. It is what is shared and respectful that leads to lasting relationships. Ideal if he likes fitness, training together can become a program that will make you progress more and more.

I am a student from a conservative Maharashtrian family. I have known this girl (my classmate) for a few years. She’s a good friend, but lately I’ve been feeling a different vibe from his. I think she’s attracted to me. She never talked about herself sexual orientation and since I’m not sure I can’t ask her directly, especially because I feel that she is in love with me. I’m straight but I love her as a friend and don’t want to hurt her. What should I do?

Strike up a conversation about the most amazing romantic moments from different movies that sparked an “I want this for me” moment. Let the conversation veer towards the different types of love; like for family, pets, kids, friends… But how only a man can make that part of your heart beat with “romantic love” and then discuss what masculine qualities you are attracted to and looking for in a man. If she has an agenda, it will stick with her, and either way, enjoy the friendship you share. If she makes you uncomfortable, you can always start maintaining a distance that gradually increases each week.



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Disclaimer

The opinions expressed above are those of the author.



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